A Fistful of Rubbers

FFORSid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic from Middlesbrough. He’s sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, there are now two things setting him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners… Sid Tillsley can kill vampires with a single punch.

AND, he’s no longer claiming benefits.

In the eyes of everyone apart from the taxman, Sid Tillsley is officially a vampire hunter. The old hunter Reece Chambers is using Sid to strike fear into the heart of the vampire nation and Sid is doing so with gusto, for he get a packet of fags for every vampire he knocks out.

But all is not rosy in Sid’s world…

The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans whose purpose is to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, have shut down his local pub in a horrific act of cruelty, separating Sid and co. from their beloved Bolton Bitter. Sid doesn’t realise that a fight is coming, one which will test him to his limit. For there’s something else lurking in the shadows, or rather, the closet. A Northern man will punch anything in the face, but what terrifies him, what saturates him with carnal fear, is a direct attack on his own sexuality…and the Campire draws near.