Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic benefit fraudster from Middlesbrough. He’s sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, there is one thing setting him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners…Sid Tillsley can kill vampires with a single punch.
In Northeast England, a monster has arisen, and one that doesn’t subscribe to Tits magazine. A vampire beast is stalking the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders fear the Firmamentum has cast its shadow on the world once more–a phenomenon which occurs every few millennia, where a human and a vampire are born ultimately powerful and destined to oppose each other.
The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans whose purpose is to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, believe Sid to be the Bellator, the chosen one destined to fight the vampire beast. But Sid is more concerned about drinking down the pub with his mates, and, maybe, just maybe, ending his two year drought with the ladies. Besides, Sid has more important things to worry about. The Benefit Office is on to him, and, if they see him scrapping immortal vampire monsters from Hell, they’ll take away the disability benefits for his bad back.