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‘New year, new me’

…and…

‘Nothing but sneks; just going to be me and the kids from now on’ and so on, and so forth…

Although I must say, I’m actually a big fan of the New Year, the resolutions, fresh start and all.

Steroids and Sorcery is still to have its day. Hopefully LL-Publications will get to it soon. Apologies for the few wanting to read it.

It does feel odd to have four unpublished novels sitting on my computer doing nothing, but there we go. The whole Magical Modernity series is done and waiting and wanting to come out. It will take a long time, I’m afraid.

I wrote Vessel ten fkn years ago… man. That’s the one that almost made it into HarperCollins and then fizzled out…. so damn close. No idea what to do with that manuscript. The cold-calling of publishers/agents is pretty demoralising. If you want to read it, give me a shout and I’ll email it over.

And as I’ve said before, and will say again (future blog post), comedy is in a pretty strange place at the moment. I can’t imagine finding a fan base for The Sid Tillsley Chronicles under the age of 30… (and their music is shit, etc, etc, etc). Comedy ages and changes. It’s the way of the world.

Anyway, I need to do something creative in my life, and I’m taking a break from writing novels. So, one of my New Year’s resolutions is to have a play with the visual arts (and not just sending unsolicited dick pics to celebrities on Twitter, again). Speaking of the penis, I’ve always been able to draw a fine cock on the pages of a newspaper, and this is the age of transferable skills, is it not? I’m a complete beginner when it comes to drawing, and it’ll be nice learning something from scratch. I’m a fan of comics (Preacher, Hellboy, Sin City, Sandman, Swamp Thing being some of my faves) and maybe one day I could put something together. I was hoping to make up some stories for the boy as he grows up (and not just making up lies about my past – yes son, when I lived in Cambridge I beat Stephen Hawking at Connect Four), so would be cool to illustrate them as well.

Hopefully I’ll keep it up, and whether I’ll be shite or not is yet to be seen. May pop something on here if I draw something decent, or if I graffiti an impressive cock on to a newspaper or on the side of a retirement home, again.

There are already some masters out there…

I used to blog a bit, back when I started off the old writing lark in the late noughties. I had aspirations to be a full-time writer and blogging was part of the plan (traffic, clicks and likes, baby). Being a full-time writer sounded grand – a bit of writing in the morning followed by a few pints at lunch, maybe a nap before Neighbours. Still sounds grand, but unfortunately I wrote nearly a million words of non-commercial fiction and not a single word about teenage wizard cunts. So that full-time writer job ain’t on the horizon. Is Neighbours still a thing?

Why blog though?

Why indeed.

I’ve actually written eight novels in total. The three Sid books are in the bank, and I’ve finished the four books of the Magical Modernity series (book 2 out real soon!). Then there was Vessel which never found a home, but almost hit the big leagues (drop me a message if you fancy a read) even though there were no teenage wizard cunts in it.

But I’m taking a break from novels. They take far too long to type out.

So a bit o’ bloggin’.

The world has changed a lot since Sid first turned up on an old word processor my mate gave me back in 2004. Even after publication of the Chronicles I ended up rewriting them a few years later. With the changing tide of political correctness it’s probably fallen off the edge of acceptability, and it was always hanging on by the fingernails – that was the point. Depending on the way the wind blows, controversial comedy either turns offensive or twee. I’m interested in the way the world sees young Sidney in the 2020s (just occurred to me that I’m now only five years younger than Sid – oh man). As someone who sits slightly off to the left of the political spectrum, I’m not rueing my offensive words, and nor am I cashing in on the right-wing “fuck ’em” brigade. In these current populist climes I’d probably be better off picking a side and trying to make some cash, but instead I’m going to write a blog.

So yeah.

I’ll write.

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I’m updating my new website and contact details. A new novel, Steroids and Sorcery, Book 2 of Magical Modernity, will be released before the end of the year. Subscribe to the newsletter for hot-off-the-press info.